1. “So…did women not find you attractive or something?”
How is a priest supposed to reply to this? It’s not like they were forced to be a priest because they couldn’t get married or were undesirable.
2. “I had the craziest dream during your homily.”
LOL. Even if it’s true, keep it to yourself!
3. “You wouldn’t happen to know if the girl in the confessional before me is single?”
Doesn’t it go without saying that when you’re in the line for confession, you are there for confession and nothing else? Come on men!
4. “You know, for a priest, you’re not that bad looking.”
Why would you say that!?
5. “Must be nice to only have to work Sundays.”
Hopefully, most of us know that priests work some of the longest and most pain-filled days of anyone in the world. Imagine serving people only when there is a crisis or a moment of great joy – both of those tax an incredible amount of energy and stress!
6. “How much of that collection basket do you take home with you?”
“Enough.” Most priests live well below the poverty income level. My priest used to tell me when he’d come over for dinner, “It’s nice to have something other than beans for a change.”
7. “Did you realize you forgot _____ in the Mass?”
They might be reading from a Missal, but they aren’t perfect. Maybe give them a break?
8. “What do you do with all that free time you have?”
“Pray for people like you!”
9. “You’re a prime example that God works through broken instruments.”
“Yeah? What’s your excuse?”
10. “Why don’t you return my emails?”
Seriously? Perhaps your priests don’t have the time to check emails. Perhaps they’re busy being priests.
11. “Father _____ did things differently.”
Sometimes it’s best not to reply.
12. “Can you be sure to say _____ in your homily, I have (family, friends) coming with me.”
Just let the priest say his homily. There are several hundreds of other people who bring friends and family to Mass. A better solution would be to pray that whatever is.
13. “When do you think you’ll retire?”
First, by “retire,” let’s make sure we all know that priests never stop being priests, and even when they do retire from parish duties, they usually continue to support their diocese in baptisms, weddings, etc. Second, this “retirement” is typically the last thing a priest ever wants.